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Star Wars Jokes

funny darth vader

Welcome to our page of original Star Wars jokes. You’ll find clean humour which means the jokes are suitable for children although we apologise for the mention of bogies (so tempting when you have a Star Wars character nicknamed ‘Chewie’!). We hope you enjoy the Star Wars gags as you have a laugh courtesy of your favourite science fiction heroes like Han Solo, Yoda, Sith Lords, R2-D2 and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Please note this is absolutely and strictly a ‘Pizza the Hutt’ Free Zone ! … that particular joke is well past it’s sell-by date.

Anyway, how’s the new Wookie Burger from McDonalds? …. a bit chewie.

two crossed light sabres with stars

The crew of the Millennium Falcon will be making all of the rebels’ costumes from now on. They’ll be 100% han’ made.

Q. How many Sith Lords does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None, because they prefer it a little on the dark side.

Q. Why did Yoda visit Barclays yesterday?
A. He was after a bank clone. (bank loan! Gettit!?)

Q. What’s a Rebel’s favourite TV talent show?
A. X-wing Factor.

two boys playing star wars

Q. What’s the difference between Han Solo’s bogeys (boogers) and his best friend?
A. Nothing. They’re both Chewie.

Q. Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns?
A. So it doesn’t Hang Solow

Q. Who do Clones visit when they’re sick?
A. Well it’s Anadin Skywalker if they have a headache ……
and Commander Codeine if it’s a tickly cough.

Q. What is R2D2 short for?
A. Because he has small legs !

sci-fi drone

Obi-Wan Kenobi: “There’s been an error. It should have been Order 99 and not Order 66.”
Yoda: “Order 99 you say? ……. then begun the cone wars have”.
Only UK readers will get that ice-cream cone joke!

Q. How many Star Wars characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Lots …. because many Hans makes light work.

Q. Does R2D2 have any brothers?
A. No. Only transisters.

seven light sabres

Han Solo and Chewbaca walk into the Mos Eisley Cantina.
“What would you like?” asks the barman.
Han Solo says “I’ll have a urrmmmmm …. urrrrmmmmmm ….. a urrrrmmmmmmmmmmm ….. urrrrrrrrr”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bar man.
“He’s a Wookie” says Han, “He was born like that”.

Q. Why are Death Star pilots bored with space battles?
A. Because they always end up in a Tie.

two robots telling star wars jokes

Two Clone Troopers are on leave and decide to visit a bar on Earth. They try to order some drinks but the barman says “Sorry but we don’t serve your type”. The Clones are a bit put out but having been trained in tactical thinking they propose a deal and ask “Would you serve us if we bought everybody in this bar free drinks and meals for the rest of the night?”. The bartender doesn’t need to think about this for too long and soon everybody is running up a bill courtesy of the generous Troopers. When the night comes to an end the barman gleefully tots up a final bill. “OK gentleman” he says “That will be £12,000 please”. “No problem at all” says a Clone pulling out his wallet, “Would you have change for a Kaminoan Zonk?”

funny darth vader

After two Biker Scouts left Mos Eisley Cantina they found that their bikes had been stolen. Walking back in to the bar there was a lot of sniggering so they deduced that the locals were messing them about. Firing their blasters into the air and removing detonators from their belt one Scout shouted “You have 2 minutes to return our bikes or we’ll be forced to do what we did on Endor!”. There was an immediate flurry of activity and the bikes were soon back outside. As they
powered up their bikes and set off, the bar tender appeared outside. “I have to know what happened on Endor!?” he shouted to them. One of the Scouts turned around and shouted back to the bar tender … “We had to walk home!”.

Q. What’s Boba Fett’s favourite Christmas tune?
A. Jango bells, Jango bells, Jango all the way ….
(that’s a real Christmas turkey of a joke!)

We hope you enjoyed the humour in this small collection of original Star Wars jokes for kids. If you did then please tell all your friends. If you didn’t then just keep it to yourself.

IMPORTANT WARNING & DISCLAIMER: this site is many many MANY YEARS OUT OF DATE and is no longer being updated or maintained. It is provided free as an ARCHIVE ONLY.
IMPORTANT WARNING & DISCLAIMER: this site is many many MANY YEARS OUT OF DATE and is no longer being updated or maintained. It is provided free as an ARCHIVE ONLY.
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