Halloween Jokes for Children

image of witch on broomstick with cat and happy halloween message

Our small collection of Halloween Jokes for kids is here to help you add some extra fun and silliness to your Halloween activities on 31st October. We’ve found the same handful of tedious and rubbish Halloween jokes and puns repeated across thousands and thousands of websites so – rather than repeat them all here again – we have deliberately only included those jokes which we feel are original or worthy. If you know of any fresh Halloween jokes for kids or pumpkin related puns then please send them in and we’ll add them to the list. We have More Halloween Activities for kids to enjoy too.

Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin

What is a vampire’s favourite sport?

Look out for werewolves this Halloween of course but beware of their relatives too. The whatwolf and the whenwolf!

Why was the witch’s broom late for work?
Because it overswept

Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin

Why wouldn’t the witch wear a baseball cap?
She said there was no point! …. and she probably plays with her own baseball bat

image of a friendly black spider with yellow eyes

What’s weird with 15 eyes?
Weiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird. (This is more of a verbal joke because you get to say “WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD” in a really daft way when they say “I don’t know” … it works OK written down too of course … quite a good joke to text in two parts maybe)

Did you hear about the man who found eggs and feathers and corn all over his house on October 31st?
He was being haunted by a poultrygeist

Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone there was a-gobblin’

What do ghosts like to watch on the internet?
Boo!Tube (It’s possible that demons use Microsoft Exhell spreadsheets too …)

What’s a vampire’s favourite National Holiday?

Do you know the address of the Grim Reaper?
Neither do I … but I bet he lives in a dead end street

Which Halloween creature can hear you from five miles away?
The eeriest. (Get it? … eeriest … sounds like ‘eariest’ … i.e. the one with the most ears … what?!?! … why is that ridiculous?? … OK then, we give up … that was one of our best).

We hope you enjoyed our (clean) Halloween jokes for children and daft adults. That last joke was probably the most frighteningly awful thing you’ll have experienced for a long long time.